let lemons be angry

What's with these people? I've been hearing my name called in corridors, and i've turned expecting some nice friendly smile; instead i see evil grins and hands held up like a "c". Right. Not very funny, guys. This will be over by thursday, and anyway, i am above this. My soul is drifting somewhere far far away from the whole c thing even though it may seem that i'm there.

They're closing down the art programme in rjc. That makes me part of the last batch of art students. I'm suddenly a significant part of the history of this school. I didn't want mr liew's words to be true, but they are. It's the death of something that was taking a long time to accept collapse, although it had been crumbling within. The room--i was in horror when i first saw it, for its complete lack of structure and cleanliness, but it produced some real things of creativity that no structured room could yield. And mr liew the servant-teacher, who gave us free rein with everything and helped me see that art could be studied beyond the fusspot-diva golden rules that mrs chan set for us. But his relaxed manner cuts both ways. I know that he hasn't given us the lessons needed to actually do well in this criteria-based system. I only know because i've gone through it in secondary school, and i'm the only one who knows. The class has been diminishing with each year, and the school doesn't see it as a good use of resources. I'd protest with a long speech about the importance of art, but mr liew warned against doing "stupid things like that". I get to finish my second year of art, but i'm grieved nonetheless. There will be people like me looking for a jc that offers art, and rjc will no longer be an option. There'll be very few of such people, but they still will exist. And with a teacher who's phasing himself out and may not even be there to see me through my coursework next year, i realise it's all up to me to make something out of what's left of my dreams. I wanted juniors i could inspire to brighten up the studio, to befriend, i wanted our legends to live on in the programme for years, i wanted some kind of haven to return to, so i could say "that's where i put my heart into", but there won't be such a thing. I'll be the very last one to have ever known this, and there won't be any sympathy for the forgotten.