let lemons be angry

I'm home early. NJ art history lesson's cancelled, and so i decided to make my way back home and see what the house is like at this time of the day. Not bad actually, for a wearybones like me. I'm glad i'm eating instant noodles (scallop, naturally) instead of school food. Only primary schoolers go home at noon. The rest of the world heads outwards. I'm so tired and so happy to sit here now. This week has been a never-ending haze of art. Late late nights and listless days. And after our hours of work, someone had to cut down the strings holding our structure up again. I want to find out who did it. The cleaning auntie who waddles up to me and complains about plaster bits on the floor, who wouldn't understand the "syf artpiece" sign i put up; or a malicious prankster, too cowardly to cut the figure down completely; or a Chinese student offended by our work? My dad was jubilant with his hypothesis that it was a communist Chinese scholar. "I'm so happy! You're finally meeting the real opposition!" But i'm not. If my jubilant father is by any chance right, i'd have offended a group with my overtly political message, however historical it is. I can see why they'd want to destroy it. For now though, i'm happier believing it was an ignorant auntie. And if the work is truly politically offensive, the syf board won't select it, no matter how pretty it looks at night with the Ikea lights illuminating it. How could i forget, history is very much alive. The political strains, the work of propaganda, these still come into play, and what is clearly propaganda to me is truth to an entire people.

So there, i am spent. Everything was only slightly funny today, and now i am looking forward to an hour of catchup sleep. Catchup. Ketchup.

Not butterflies, but wary dragonflies and look-at-the-ceiling smiles. And that teetering scale of dare-i-dream and don't-you-dare. The things i'm beginning to think about lately. But more often comes the old white butterflies, in sheets and clouds, and i still want closeness. The only thing i'll ever ask of you, is that you promise not to stop when i say when.