let lemons be angry

I think and i feel sad, and the Used starts playing as if the soundtrack advisor decided to play the trick of irony on me. But i don't have to bury myself alive anymore, because it's my own choice that i turn away. I'm wrapping the egg in newspapers and i'll put it with someone else's egg only if we're travelling in the same direction.

Chin Ai and Ivan's surprise farewell party put the lights back in my eyes. We got together food, ivan and chin ai, and surprise visitors in the space of one night. The night deserved fireworks. They were surprised, the food was marvellous (chicken salad and thai vermicelli salad, i love you two with special love), and the number of guests was just right, and the parents were funny, and this was the third happy surprise party i've helped to plan. Maybe i should start a party-planning business and rope in my mum and stef for the food. That night I was happy for many reasons, and i realised this is where i want to be, in the present. Right here, no wandering eyes. And another thing. I want it all to be simple, from start to finish. A smile for happiness, your presence if you want to be here, straight in the eye. No masks, no fears. We'll speak and we'll understand each other perfectly. Events will go by only once, and their meanings will stay intact. I'll believe you when you say anything, and i won't frown again. You'll be a stretch of bright blue scenery that i can rest in. Sunlight to a candle, that'll be you to the rest of the world. And while waiting for you, i'll remain asleep.