let lemons be angry

Yesterday we were so excited as Russell Pensyl put in the "Citizen Kane" dvd. "Best film of all time" according to the film critics who matter today, so how could we not be excited? It was black and white and made by a guy who was our age, and best of all, it was a commercial failure in its time. All the ingredients for a controversial classic.

But. The only reason we paid attention was that we were trying to figure out what made it the best film of all time. I suspect it would have been an incredible book, what with all its symbolism and mystery ("Rosebud...!") and maybe it would be an incredible film if it were redone. And that is, sadly, all i can say about it for now. The sound effects and fuzzy closeups of love scenes was too much, just too much. If i take Film as my major i'll probably have to watch it a couple more times, and then maybe i'll like it the same way i sincerely liked John Donne after the millionth read.

Today we stuck slices of balsa wood together to make sculptures. Lovely day.

What are your belongings? Do you care about everything you own? All the people that are yours-- do you care that they belong to you? Sure, you never asked them to be dependent on you for safety and smiles and release and everything essential in the world, but what then? Are you ruthlessly intolerant, are you bone cold, are you shameless in owning it all? We own people and we belong to others. It's a cycle that is cruel and alluring and inevitable, and still entirely in our control. Entirely? I trip over my tongue. But at least try to show some care to someone who has been standing behind you waiting for you to notice. At least notice.