let lemons be angry

I find myself talking about kids all the time now. They say the funniest things to me. I wouldn't have imagined myself talking about kids, not in a million years. But it seems that it has panned out that way. Here are some soundbites, from camp and malaysia:

CAMP

me: So wet! It's so drenched!
kid: (eyes me for a few seconds) How do you learn your English?
--
Kid 1: (to poor volunteer) Why do you have red hair? (vindictively) Maybe you want a new boyfriend and you want to attract your new boyfriend.
Kid 2: (nodding seriously) Yah maybe.
--
Kid: I wish camp was six days, not five days. No, I wish it was one week. No, two weeks. Not more than two weeks because then we will have to wash our own clothes.
--
Kid 1: (to me) Gabriella (from High School Musical) is very vain in real life.
Me: How do you know?
Kid 1: You see (shows me photo of Vanessa Hudgens in a low-cut evening gown at a premiere) SO vain! (passes to Kid 2)
Kid 2: (pores over photo) I didn't know she was so vain.

IN THE CAR TO AND FROM M'SIA

kid: I was so cute last time! I wish I could see myself!
--
kid: I like my face in future, because some women have the bone (cheekbone).
--
Mother: They say God loves everyone except Mas Selamat.
Kid 1: Except Mas Selamat and Satan.
Kid 2: I've never seen him you know.
Kid 1: I've never seen him too.
Kid 2: Because there are 3 of them! So how am I supposed to know which one is Satan?
Me: Satan's not human!
Kid 2: He's not a human?! Then what is he? An ... animal?