let lemons be angry

So much talk about Jack Neo and how he's turned out to be not quite the moral family man. Hello? Wendy Chong isn't innocent either? Just because a girl is 22 doesn't mean she's too young to make sound decisions. 22 is very old, in fact. I'm not setting her up to be stoned, just saying that it takes two to commit adultery (in Jack's case, more than two), and I hope no other report describes her as nubile and vulnerable in the entertainment industry. Wendy Chong is no heroine for exposing their affair. Girls must learn to take responsibility for what they choose to do and which man they lead on.

On that note, I know there's a whole lot of debate on rape and molestation about how it is never the girl's fault even if she dresses skimpily and appears to come on to the guy. Yes, a man with an intention to rape is already sick in the head and can rape grandma, nun or child, never mind a young thing in a mini dress. Yes, it is the man's wrongdoing for acting on his temptation, and a "no" is a "no" whether he believes it or not. And yes, we must educate our men that they have to make rational and moral decisions even if their aroused bodies lead them otherwise. They are not animals without consciences.

But GIRLS. For goodness' sake, understand the risks that escalate when you dress that way, and when you dance that way, and when you put yourselves in vulnerable situations. You are not responsible for what others do to you, but you are responsible for protecting yourself. Don't be naive and think that you can hold your drink, or that it's safe getting into your friend's friend's car for a lift home. Don't be naive and imagine that you can be an object of lust to males around you without causing them to sin. I say sin because I'm used to the word, I really mean increase their lust and everything that can result from that. Don't think that you can ward a guy off with a simple "no", or that your self defense classes make you invincible when you go jogging alone at night. Understand the reality of the world, that it is warped, and that even if all men are educated to know how to make moral decisions, they may not choose to.

Some will say that it's because of people like me who accept the condition of our world, that society will never progress. Women will always be expected to protect themselves, while men will grow into their roles as predators. But I say it's not about women being scared and hiding indoors in sheaths of cloth. I say it's about women understanding their own sexual power, as well as their limitations of physical power. It's about women playing their part to reduce sexual temptation, while men play their part in curbing their own.

Like Wendy Chong and Jack Neo, it takes two.