let lemons be angry

Sometimes i wish i could just be like aimei and see the world through heart-shaped glasses. She wears her heart on her sleeve and it works for her. What if all the things we never said could have changed our lives for the better? What if we all were honest and forthspoken? There'd be a lot of drama everyday. There'd be a lot of surprises, when people realise that i actually do care, that i even think of them, that their existence actually matters to me, little old me who never tells them so. I think my voice is too scared to change my life, even if it's for the possible better. And i'm not ready to make another exception.

I can't believe that i just went to a university open house. "Senior citizen", am i? This is wrong, i'm not ready. Listening to the talk on arts and social sciences only informed me on one thing: that i'm not sure i want to go to university anymore. It's that oddness that everyone's facing now--not knowing what we'll be, or what we can be.

Watched Big Fish. Am sunburnt. Finally appreciate shellfish. Realise that of all the things in this world to be feared, i fear lightning most of all. Playing for worship tomorrow. Am who i really am, at last. Buying the used tomorrow. Waiting. Hair has grown longer. Saw a sunset against the pouring rain. (random things of now that have no relation to each other, like you and me, us and we)