let lemons be angry

I have a houseguest! Her name's Desiree and she's from the States, here to get her visa fixed. I liked being a houseguest.

A couple of days ago I met Dharma for a sp0t of tea and shopping. I love how enthusiastic she makes me feel. To think that every day used to be like that when we still had school, endless free time and secret-sharing and good-food-eating with the girls. But her story about the last semester sent shivers down my chinotto-filled spine. It seems that i'm not very far from being as delusional and insane as she was, and although we laughed at what she was, it'll be not very funny if it happens to me. What is chinotto, you might ask. It is the vibrant, slightly dry flavour of San Pellegrinos, a black orange soda sold only at selected gourmet bistros, and i have been hooked on chinotto since last year. Anyway, back to the chill-inducing story. Here i am with nothing to do but click away on a computer screen for money, with the occasional pilates and kickboxing class to keep me awake, and ideas for the future floating in the near distance. It's a pleasant world but half of it is virtual. In this half-virtual existence, it is very easy to imagine that all sorts of things are happening when they are in fact not. Methinks i should invest more in the non-virtual world to keep a wide balance on things, ie go out more and have more face-to-face conversations. The end of june and the beginning of july is coming very soon, and i can't decide if i should breathe now or later.

Strangely, i'm more at home with the sss now than ever before. Little boys and girls insult me and ask me about my life, and that never happened when i was a little girl like them. I guess some things just come later for some of us.