Memorials

Last night we had a very muted fifth year anniversary celebration. We had dinner the night before at a steak place on boat quay. We exchanged presents. A scrapbook from me, magnets and a pin (and air tickets to hk) from k. We walked to the national museum and stuffed ourselves with dessert, the last order of the day.

Last night we had a night class, revelation. We ate at mos burger and bought popcorn and bubble tea for the session. We walked home and he instagrammed while i put on a clay mask. We wished each other a happy fifth year together and tried to remember what we did last year.

We couldn't remember. I'd long stopped keeping a diary, and there were no photographs. At first we thought we had it--the foofighters concert that got cancelled--but no, that was the previous year. At last i remembered the gift from k, the ipad mini. But neither of us remembered what i gave, or what we ate, what we did.

Is it important to remember? Not crucially, we live in the present. There was a time when i would be upset that k didnt remember anything. I was the diary-writer, the sentimental one, the keeper of symbols. Eventually though, it got tiring, and remembering was not as gratifying as living in the moment.

But now my project is about making memorials. (It was about trauma, yes, but now it is about memorials. A long story for another time. Maybe.)

And i start to regret not making enough memorials of the last year. It passed by in a blur. But what exactly happened? Someday i may want to remember how the proposal went exactly. How i planned the wedding. What friendships i made and broke along the way. Those are the landmarks that come to mind when i think about last year.

So i'm thinking about memorial-making, and the act of writing. Whether on paper or electronic, the ritual of recording still has its place.

Now then, i will try to record things as they happen. If anything, for the art of it.