let lemons be angry

I can't get you all out of my dreams at night. Last night i dreamt we were all together again on a new campus, sitting by a manmade beach. Dharma was insisting i perform a rap she composed at the school talentime later, and i read it out for her just to humour her. (It was a rather cheesy rap, with not enough words to fill in the beats and a theme of living up to your potential or Something.) Then i told her no, i won't do it all by myself like that. Aimei was there listening and laughing, as she always does. Stef was wearing a white bikini and sitting in a crack between the tiles. From my angle it looked like her whole lower body had miraculously disappeared into a tiny crack, and i laughed and laughed and said "Stef where did you go?" She finally got herself out of the crack and there was sand all over her. I believe we were waiting for the rest, who were always slow.

...

The wedding cards are out and although they're a little too small for my liking, i think they're nice enough. They look so happy to be getting married, so sure of a blissful life ahead of them. How nice, to be at a point in your life when you know better things lie just a couple of months away. To envision a house for two, with new curtains and new kitchen cupboards to stock up, quiet evenings at home with rented movies, the rest of life immediately different just because it won't be spent alone. He told me how he proposed to her. He flew to perth to visit for the week, and discussed it with her parents first. Then on her birthday morning (was it?) he made her breakfast in bed. Her mum helped him take out the eggs and her dad helped him get things ready. The ring was part of the breakfast tray of course.

I didn't think they would choose this in the end, but they did. Actually, why am i surprised?

Today will be one major photoshoot. First to help Annette photograph her story, then to be Little Red Riding Hood in Joy's story, then to shoot Joy as the evil queen in my Snow White. I did a scary makeup face for her, with a contoured bone structure and evil black eyeliner. Last night i poisoned an apple with nail polish and every bit of makeup i could bear to waste on an apple. Then i stuck a knife in its heart and shot it against my favourite black things. It looks more like a makeup advertisement. Poisoned indeed--it looks yummy enough to risk being poisoned. Speaking of yummy-looking things, i once wished i could eat elbows. I was about five then, and i felt that elbows looked like the tips of french loaves. And have any of you ever wished you could eat eggs whole, with their shells on? It looks so much more appealing that way, more eggish. And sshhh, but sometimes Fiver looks so soft, like cotton candy, that i wish i could nibble away at him. Don't tell him or he'll be frightened, the scaredy-cat. He's frightened of every little thing.