let lemons be angry

I'm becoming convinced that there is no thermostat in my soul. I have to change the temperature manually if it gets too cold or too hot. Today was a cold day. I wondered if it was school that turned me into a shell of a person. Those holiday moments of pure joy--those moments that felt like forever--suddenly seemed impossible to relive. A shell, with no direction, just endless waiting for something (what?) and staring back into corridors of my own reflection. Laughter and bouts of actual thinking, but still that something missing. So cold that i didn't feel anything when i told someone i didn't want to be friends. (I hope that person doesn't mind.) Can i live the rest of the year like this? I don't think so. Something has to be done, something i didn't do last year. Light candles everywhere. Look into His word more. I'm just a little lost sheep.

You know something's wrong when a song you love has questionable lyrics:
I imagine everyone sometimes
Will cross their heart and hope to die
To tell I love you lies
I imagine everyone survives
For giving up all that you got
To tell I love you lies

Oh well. A funny message from Bong woke me up and put lights in my eyes when the afternoon was getting dreary. The girl is fated to meet someone.