let lemons be angry

When the gravity of the planets is just right, it all tilts and upsets the visible balance. And that's when it wants to out from my eyes. That's when I get on the telephone, dangerous as a terrorist. There's nothing to do but let it come.

So. What do you think? Are you convinced now I'm as crazy as a tulip or a taxi? As vagrant as a cloud?

Sometimes the sky is so big and I feel so little at night. That's the problem with being cloud. The sky is so terribly big. Why is it worse at night, when I have such an urge to communicate and no language with which to form the words? Only colors. Pictures. And you know what I have to say isn't always pleasant.

Oh, love, there. I've gone and done it. What good is it? Good or bad, I've done what I had to do and needed to. And you've answered the phone, and startled me away like a bird. And now you're probably swearing under your breath and going back to sleep, with that wife beside you, warm, radiating her own heat, alive under the flannel and down and smelling a bit like milk and hand cream, and that smell familiar and dear to you, oh.

Human beings pass me on the street, and I want to reach out and strum them as if they were guitars. Sometimes all humanity strikes me as lovely. I just want to reach out and stroke someone, and say There, there, it's all right, honey. There, there, there.

from Never Marry a Mexican, Sandra Ciscerenos

How has life been for you? I got up not long ago and was given a word that I'm afraid i understand all too well to ignore. We make such crazy laughter that to take it away would be to rip away every smile I remember this month. But for comfort, new beginnings never come one at a time, they come in twos and threes. Already I spy with my little eye new friendships of the lasting variety, classes that will have me hooked as much as Art lessons always have, new projects of cloth, and a place to call my own in church. (Finally?)

I have everything I could want, but as my theme song goes, "But who cares, no big deal, I want more." Except that I don't want to budge from my world. Part of my world is where we should stay. But you are a person of the land.

Meanwhile I am finding my way around the school, better every day than the day before. I'm doing everything I ever wanted school to consist of: watching movies, taking and printing photographs, reading literature, learning about ancient art, drawing for hours on end everyday. This is my bubble, my precious bubble. It is my new life. On tuesday nights i will find myself at Amelia's new mod/retro apartment; on wednesday mornings we will have breakfast in canteen A together. Lonely afternoons can be spent dozing off in the library or drinking nescafe in the empty quad. Some evenings will be movie nights in our black student lounge. Lunch is at 11:30 everyday, at Canteen B, until we find somewhere else to eat. Lectures are my black velvet cardigan and doodles on a page and looking out for interesting people. One day there will be a Punk Day, another day will be Retro Day, and did i ever mention i love my tutorial group?

They should make more emoticons. What am i supposed to use when i want to show bubbly faces, or evil psychotic laughs?