let lemons be angry

On a badge that Manda felt I should have for my birthday:
"I'm smiling and that alone should scare you"

Honestly, what would i do without my girls. I do not miss those stupid depressed days looking at photos and crying for some 1d love. These few weeks have been bliss, with stef's arm to link with and pinch and poke and eat, sheils and her familiar blue satin bedsheet and lots of chocolate and serious discussions about our life stories, manda and her words ("Get a dying cat then. A diseased dog. A cancerous bird.") and out of the class, carissa and ashley and our long-spoken-of coffeehouse sessions. Talking with carissa felt like those sec 2 Anne of Green Gables days when everything revolved around beautiful strangers and character examinations. It was a 4-year gap before we had such conversations again, but it's nice to know that it's not too late, and that we haven't changed all that much where it counts. And ashley is ever the expressive and responsive conversationist with her catchphrases and word-of-the-months. Her gerald reminds me of paul, and i'm glad to say that after meeting him, i did not feel i had to say "If he hurts you i will go after him with a parang." That's the difference i suppose.

Far away is that crowd-hating quiet girl who needed fixed companions. I wouldn't trade this warmth for the secrecy i used to guard so fiercely.

Ah yes. For some weird reason I'm taking french now, and I can't wait to find out why. There are lots of international students in my class, perfect for varied exercises of "I'm not Spanish, I'm (insert nationality)" in French. That day was almost surreal, with air so cold that i flushed everytime i stopped walking. And that's how these days have been, floating and floating and never settling, out of somebody else's storybook, full of happy new adventure.