let lemons be angry

I have a million things to do, so why am I putting everything aside for extra work? For money? For my portfolio? For fun? I just told myself to prioritize my school work, but then again, it's not like school work will directly help my future career. With this logic firmly plastered across my forehead, i am making my way to a yellow and green bungalow at stevens road today, a place i would never enter if not for the Job. I have other jobs to help people with, but this one takes priority because it pays and the people paying are important. I feel bad and money-minded and all those things i despise. I need to find a balance, and the secret to sanity. And i have to remember to keep my soul.

So this is the conclusion about my life right now. Everything I have to do and all the people in my life are floating around me like tiny sparkly bubbles. I have everything going for me, don't I. There's nothing to complain about, because all my bubbles love me. I always have many stories to tell. My life is packed with stories. But tell me why, if there's supposedly all this love being shot out at me, why I still have those blue nights that i find myself all alone in my room with nobody calling and nobody to call, and no solid reason to call anybody, just a great desire to talk to stop being so undeniably alone. "My life is filled with meaningless things, right?" was the conclusion of last night's Thursday Bus Ride Talk. It's not that i feel incomplete. Rather, I'm brimming over, i'm too full, i need to filter out the things that don't make sense. And i need to choose to do the things that will last.