let lemons be angry

Have you ever been stopped by an old woman asking for $2 for food? I asked a random guy at church and he's never met one. But I've been stopped 4, 5 times since I was 21. Asking around, it seems that girls get approached more often. Maybe because we look kinder, maybe because they know we can't look away from old women who clutch at our arms and blink away tears.

Do you give money to these women? They tell me that their children have died, that they can't work because their hands are allergic and hurt, that they have given up gambling and smoking and are sick. When I hesitate, they look into the distance and the tears come.

I give, knowing that they might take the money and do something else with it. Knowing that they might be telling the truth, or they might not be. $2 is a small error on the side of kindness, and if I'm being exploited, it's not of much. Furthermore, those arm clutches and tears really get to me. Like gunpoint.

But does that help them? My last encounter was outside Lavender station. Within 15 minutes I was approached by two women. I had readily given to the first, but because there was a second woman, everything fell into doubt. Still she hit my soft spot when she talked about Christians being kind, and about the Bible story of the rich young ruler not being able to give his money to the poor. Pretty powerful emotional blackmail, actually. I would have given if she hadn't said the next line: "If I were rich, I would surely give everyone who asked me, up to $10."

I lie. Actually I was still about to give. But a passerby behind the old woman was making urgent hand gestures not to. So I wavered, and told her she was the second one who had approached me. She was most interested to know if I'd given to the first one. They could be friends for all I know. They might share their loot later and save up to go to RWS.

But for all I know, they might have been truly hungry. And so I am still a willing giver/victim. There is a way out, though, and a way to tell the truth. My mother offers to bring them to the food court to buy a proper dinner. They usually refuse and go away.