let lemons be angry

 

This is the Clarisonic Mia. If you are addicted to youtube beauty gurus like I am, you will know what it does--and other facts irrelevant to life such as the Skinsonic being an affordable dupe for it, and what tightlining is. 

For the uninitiated, the Clarisonic is an electric toothbrush for the face. It gently vibrates in a sonic pattern to slough away dead skin and leaves pores 6 times cleaner than if you used your old-fashioned hands to wash your face.

This hand-obliterating device, my friends, sums up my problematic addiction.

Every month, I discover a new heartstopping beauty revolution reviewed by my youtube beauty gurus. Oxygen masks that bubble up on the skin. Creams that make blackheads come out on their own and stay away. And just like that, I am convinced that my routine is a prehistoric disaster without said items. Fuzkittie alone has expanded my facewash-to-makeup routine by about ten steps.

 

Fuzkittie, the most sincere guru ever who gets a lot of beauty gifts from her fairy godmothers, and has a 9-step beauty routine in the morning. A big part to play in my addiction.

 

Don't get me wrong, everything I've picked up from them has been useful. And they review a plethora of products to tell us what works and what doesn't. Salesgirls never know anything useful.

But. Each time I upgrade my beauty routine, I forget that before I had this new magical thing, my old products weren't that bad at all actually. It's taken me a while to realize it, but I've gone back to simpler, older, cheaper products, and am just as happy. It's about knowing when to stop being shiny-eyed and convinced, and to be contented with the great products I already have.

Makeup For Ever Aqua Eyes

I bought this $30+ eyeliner because it was the holy grail of smudgeproof crayon liners as used by all beauty gurus to tightline. I loved it despite the price, despite it disappearing into a sharpener every other day, and despite it actually smudging on hot days. When it shrank into a sad stub, I found my old unused Bourjois kohl liner, and guess what? It's just as good, and I hardly need to sharpen it.

BB creams.

Every beauty guru worth her youtube fanbase does a BB cream comparison review. This involves reviewing five or more top-selling BB creams and showing us what they look like on bare skin. Because BB creams are purportedly good for skin, are cheap, and come in so many brands, they are one of the most tempting items to collect. But the fact is BB creams don't work well with my skin type at all. I've since switched to a matte liquid foundation, which stays put a lot better, although I longed to be a BB cream korean girl.

Cetaphil

This is the cleanser a doctor recommended me back when I had problematic skin. Over the years I "upgraded" it mostly because it looked too plain, and I was swayed by the more sophisticated descriptions of other cleansers. But I've gone back to it now, and I'll never leave its side again. It's gentle enough for babies' skin, and leaves a soft emollient layer when washed off. It softens and heals and is heaven, basically.

Simple toner

Another long-time friend, that I turned my back on for Neutrogena's deep cleansing toner with salicylic acid. Turns out salicylic acid is not good for my skin (probably linked to my aspirin allergy, they're made of the same stuff) and now all I want is something gentle, soothing and simple.

Biore Perfect Face Milk SPF 50

I've been using this for two years, the perfect water-based sunscreen that dries to a powdery finish. No more yucky greasy sunscreen makeup. But the itch to try something new set in, and I went around sampling different brands hoping they would do the same job. Because a beauty addict is propelled by the desire to find new products. In the end my online research brought me back to this product. As a compromise, I bought the new Biore water-based gel sunscreen that is literally no-texture and comes in a more cost-efficient size.

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What does the Clarisonic Mia have to do with all this? It's my latest online obsession because of its 100% rave reviews. And for a few days I have been convinced that my skin is filthy because I'm not washing it with the Clarisonic Mia. I finally got myself down to Sephora to try the Clarisonic Plus (Mia's not available here) on my hand.

Was my hand smoother? Marginally. Was it brighter? Now that you mentioned it. Is it worth the $375?

The salesgirl said that lots of the Sephora girls use it, and I looked closely at her skin. I expected Clarisonic users to have glowy egg skin, the way I expect all miracle products to instantly bequest light to the face. But there was nothing remotely eggy or poreless about her skin. And that's when the spell broke.

Because before the Clarisonic came out, I've been fine with using my old-fashioned bare hands to wash my face. If I wanted to exfoliate, I used a scrub. For super exfoliation, I use Cure gel, a revolutionary discovery a year ago. And prehistoric as hands and Cure gel may be, they're pretty fantastic too. 

In fact, for every high end product, there is a cheaper alternative that does the job. We addicts have this beautiful illusion that if it's expensive and we haven't tried it yet, it will work better. But not always so.

And may I never forget that, no matter what my dearest fuzkittie says.