let lemons be angry

i was honest then
even in my white lies,
peace lies, love lies,
make-things-right lies

but i'll tell you now
what is still true:
peace lied,
love lied.

I wish Christmas wasn't over. I want to wake up to gingerbread every morning and see the Christmas specials in restaurants. I want to see fairy lights everywhere. I want to hear carols and hear God being praised all day long. I want to see some semblance of Christmas even if the semblance is superficial.

After thumbing through volumes of luscious Klimt and Schiele and Warhol art books, i decided on Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece. A book that a very good laoshi photocopied for us to read, and which i've been searching for for eons. Another deep book in the disguise of a children's picture book, a genre i seem to have a thing for. I need to find the English version. I think that by the time i have children i'll have accumulated a library of good children's books. That they'll despise because they won't be old enough to understand or appreciate them, but which their mother will love reading to them. Oh pooh to Thomas and the Cat in the Hat.

Of all things, i had to bump into you yesterday. As i did a whole splendid year ago. Do you remember? And of all things you had to make it more obviously painful than it could have been by shaking your head no, you'd rather not have a drink in my presence. I wish you'd find this, because there's a sign that prohibits me from talking to you. Time has changed everything about us except us. Time turned you into the mere Beginning of Things, like the forgotten small stone that kickstarted the more memorable avalanche. Time changed your expectations and my attitude to everything. Time changed our looks, and even brought you a nice Friend to take everywhere, even to church (but not to town yesterday). So why hasn't time changed us? Long gone is that friendship that started over games and paintcup-holding, and here to stay is something that gingerly sticks its toes into the water and runs away. I could grudge you for being childish, but i've no right to do that, and besides, what is gone is gone. So i'll just "whatever" this like i "whatever" everything i can't name or solve, and cringe everytime i hear that song. They play it too often these days, but soon they won't. Because Christmas is over.

So i guess it's kind of a good thing then, that Christmas ends.