let lemons be angry

i have died two, three times over

this is the last time i will write anything about me dying. because i'm capable of snapping out of phases by simply deciding to. humans are mechanical. at least i am. i can decide to love and give and i won't be able to stop giving until i run out of battery. so i program myself to sympathize only with some people, and i will reprogram myself completely if i have to. that is how i function, that is how i survive. i have given too much away. you go fend for yourself now.

because i want to concentrate on being happy with the things of my present, like those earrings, those cookies, my new bass, vietnam and esther, freedom from work. i used to be so silly, you know. "espirit" and flapping mog and the muppet dance. not one part of all that was with you. i'm not myself when i Listen, i'm somebody i've let you think i am. something tells me i've said all this before, but now i really believe it.