let lemons be angry

song in my head: son of a preacher man

I wish that school would start next month. I never really wanted the holidays to come round in the first place. (Direct all your boos and hate mail to my agent, please.) Aimei and i spent a good while standing and thinking of activities other than shopping that we could fill our holidays with. We came up with museum tours, shopping at sungei road, getting our hair cut, going bowling, and taking some kind of class. The items that didn't get mutual consensus were visiting the old folks' home, going to the zoo, taking up a sport, and taking cooking lessons.

The mission trip's coming up soon, which means whole-day band practices, which is nice. Although I'm not the friendliest of beings, I want to make good friends on this trip. Musical friends, Christian friends. I don't exactly have a lot of those.

If it were last year, I'd be rushing to golden dragon to get earring hooks and sewing myself into a blind and bloody mess. But the excitement about selling my jewelry has evaporated into distaste and cynicism for the small, copycat singapore jewelry market, and the same old faces that dominate the scene. There are about six gangs circling the waters, and not all are friendly. If it were harder to become recognised in Singapore, it'd be more of a fun challenge for me. Until I can create something utterly uncopyable and unseen, jewelry and my label will just remain shelved and gathering dust in that nice nostalgic way. So jewelry is not an option these holidays.

Oh, how enterprising I was last year. Full of ambition and drive to start my own businesses, which I saw through successfully after hectic kitchen days and grocery shopping and sewing. I envy me. Now all I want to do is patronize other entrepreneurs.

If i could do absolutely anything next week, I think I'd like to work as a nurse in an emergency ward. That's what the power of the media and a good plot does to me. I see my world in Grey's Anatomy mode all the time now.

Well, the Female May issue is out. One of the unambiguous, tangible happy events of my month. That said, I have to push myself harder. No wonder so many girls become career women. It's not easy being a female, with genetic makeups and in-built traits that make it guaranteed that we'll cry more and feel more. In a world of increasing ambiguity and comfortable grey zones, it's nice to hold something real. But even this could just disappear anytime.

woogie woogie woogie.