Saturday, May 27, 2006

Can people be replaced? (A question out of my Wonderment ten-year-series, antique and fairly naive)

A. Yes

Let's say there are ten people who always make me laugh till I ache. If so, i wouldn't have laughed in three weeks. The good part about life is we can get our required doses of things from different doctors. My laughter has come from 16 new friends recently. There's 25-year-old Lynnette whose number one criteria in a dream guy is "spiky hair", and who goes around half-blind because she's too vain to wear her glasses. And Hansel, who is perpetually smiling and laughing and bouncing and bewildering us all with his happiness. Noel, who asked his then-pre-girlfriend straight up, "You like me, is it? I think you like me," and who hid behind the projection screen to record his vocal part. Grace, who I would marry if I were a man, and who would marry me if she were a man! Alvin is funny just to look at because of his alarmingly large eyes. Jae and her chiobu technicalities- "flip your right hand to face the front, flip the other hand to face the back, and you're good to go!" Daniel and his beng technicalities- too crude for this prude to describe. The "boyband" practicing their acapella parts, which in Hansel's words turned out "very not nice!" And our Girls' Night Out questions at cafe 211 that showed how married women can have semi-crushes on young boys too.

B. No

But of course this whole new world of new people is making me feel disconnected from everyone else. Aimei and dawn and stef, and church friends, and adm friends--basically, every social circle in my life before this point. Contrary to what most seem to think when they don't know me very well, I actually have a lot of close friends who I spill out to. I'm unspilled, and have been unspilled for three weeks. Something is missing. :( I wish i had time for more people, i do. But after busy days the thing i need most is still and quiet. We'll find a way to spend time, within the 18 useful hours of each day.

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